How to be Bismarck's "gentleman and a half"
Basic techniques in handling people. The sooner you read "How to win friends and influence people", the sooner your success will multiply.
They treat me like a fox, a cunning fellow of the first rank. But the truth is that with a gentleman I am always a gentleman and a half, and when I have to do with a pirate, I try to be a pirate and a half. — Otto von Bismarck
One of the essential rules of politics and of life is to win by avoiding the battle if you can. If someone is willing to work with you, go the extra mile to work with them. If you can, ensure they become and remain willing to cooperate.
That is where the original self-help book comes in, one of the all-time best sellers: Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Quite possibly you don’t need to read it–maybe you are already handling people brilliantly! But I certainly found it helpful, even though I was not doing too badly at the time.
The book was first recommended to me–with immense diplomacy!–by my friend Lord Syed Kamall, on a trip to Egypt in 2011 during the revolution which was then bringing much hope. I was 40. I wish I had read it in my 20s. It was itself a revolution.
No one wants to be criticised or condemned. Everyone wants to be appreciated. So the first principle is “Don't criticise, condemn or complain” and the second, “Give honest and sincere appreciation.” It may seem obvious, but if so, it is not plain in everyday conduct.
After the fundamental techniques, the book provides six ways to make people like you, 12 principles to win people to your way of thinking and six ways to be a leader. They are all essential reading and extremely effective: it is not for nothing that this was one of the KGB’s essential manuals1.
I try to re-read the book every few years. I give it to all my staff—not that they have needed it. And I recommend it to you.
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous new year. May you win friends and influence people to a degree you never thought possible in 2025 and beyond!
I am reliably informed. Don’t ask. I won’t tell you.